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i will not publish anonymous comments....if you want your comments to be published you must leave your screen name at least thank you. also i will probably not be here for some time ...i found out that i might have breast cancer... i will be seeing a specialist on tuesday the 20th so i will keep you all updated thank you

Sigh

Wow...kinda blown away with the news today....evidently my husband may have fathered a child with another woman..i mean its strange cause i cant get mad cause it was before we got back together, but i dont know if i can handle another woman in my life with my husband....talked to a few family members that i hardly ever go to, but they are kinda in same situation that i am, and they just are kinda concerned but ultimately the decision is mine.... sigh sigh sigh....i dont know what to do....later sunshine

None

what a weird day today was... i mean weird in a good way you know? my hubby was great to me today and gave me little cuddles and kisses and was just really nice to me all day and i dunno...it was weird..haha...thats one thing i hate about myself is that im always second guessing things....its hard to live with and i suppose even harder for the people that love me....we are beginning the next phase of our daughters life and that is to interview schools...mainly the MPS system and then the school for the sign language and stuff...so well im going to go to sleep as i have to get up early in the morning...later...sunshine

Happy Easter...late...

Sigh....well was having an ok day but now am not feeling too well....got that little friend that i didnt want....sigh...i dont understand why im not getting pregnant....its been 6 months and still nothing...we even used this little ovulation prediction kit thing this month and had sex the right times and blah nothing again.....sigh...i really hope that the other baby is not his because then im going to just absolutely die....i swear....i know its a double standard but i just dont know that i could live with the fact that there is another woman with a child by him but not with me you know? well whatever im gonna go for now....later world.....

Been SOO Long!!!

well its been a bit too long since ive blogged... not that anyone i know is reading this damn thing anyway its still a good venue for me to vent... there are so many things going on right now its insane....

FINALLY home

hello all ...obvoiously if you know us personally then you know that baby has been in the hospitol since monday the 9th and we were released today. thank heavens we are so ready to be home. unfortunately our marriage doesnt seem to be on steady ground right now even though all week it was good. who knows maybe it wasnt and i just didnt notice because i was so preoccupied with my baby in the hospitol. i will be going on thursday to get some blood drawn to get a test done for the baby to be tested for something else. im so sick of all these damn tests and no results. whatever its ok though. no biggie. i ended up in the ER last night too...fatigue i guess....and my depakote level was a bit elevated. no biggie i guess. i cant wait until school starts next monday. im kind of worried about it a little though too. wish i was going more then two days a week but thats ok too. it will come in handy when my husband starts work in march and then he will only have to take her to work with him two days a week and then the other three i can have her with me. well i am going to go take a shower and get to bed early. its been such a long week i cant wait to sleep in my bed. later world
-sunshine

Happy New Year

well its been a good year so far...havent fought with my husband all year hahahaha... that was good...anyways my darling angel climbed out of her crib today...never knew that kids did that until they knew how to walk...imagine my surprise when i came around the corner to see her sitting there...almost had a damn heartattack...thankfully there are lotts of angels watching over her that she didnt get into anything to hurt herself and she didnt fall down the stairs! there are things called crib tent that i can get to go over the crib that she wouldnt be able to get out of it but they are 80 bux and i have no more moneys this month due to paying for school and my books....as it was couldnt pay my rent moneys this month due to the fact that school and books took every penny i had...and i didnt get a damn child support payment all last month and have yet to recieve one...evidently he started a new job just before christmas and it takes a month to process the paperwork....sigh...so..oh well ok well gotta get some rest..i have baby duty tomorrow as hubby is gone to see his parents...tty all later
-sunshine