WARNING GRAPHIC PHOTO...NOT ATTEMPTED SUICIDE...BUT SERIOUS MENTAL BREAKDOWN

its healing, it wasnt deep (thank God, but its going to scar which makes me sad)

i dont know. i went off my meds the day grandma died, january 19th. and i was being the "strong" one finishing my externship and being there for my family. and then my dad was here from Florida and i was doing ok, or thought i was. we went to the dells two weeks ago and had a great time and anthony and i managed to get some "alone" couple time while lionel took mackenzie swimming in the kids area and it was great. but monday my dad went back to florida and then suddenly i felt like my floor had fallen from beneath my feet. i started fighting with everyone for no reason at all and the fights with anthony were bad. and suddenly i woke up on wednesday morning and was a mess. i only remember bits and pieces, but the gist of it is that i was fighting particularly badly with anthony and i told him to leave, and so he decided to sleep on the couch and that made me sooooo mad. and so i ...well i will not leave details, but i cut myself pretty bad with a razor. anthony woke up and i guess he thought that i had just cut myself a little, (i have NEVER cut myself before, all previous attempts were overdoses of pills, but this wasnt an attempt on my life, it was a cry for help) and mixed it with water to make it look like more blood and thats why he went to work and didnt bother checking on me. thankfully lionel was here and took care of mackenzie and even got her up for school in the morning as i asked him to....so anyways i went to the mental hospital on wednesday night and stupid insurance would only cover two nights (WTF?!?!) because i wasnt suicidal...so whatever. anthony came in yesterday and talked to the doctor person on call there, and my hubby bought me home. well my mom came and got us (thank you mommy) and so now im home and back on my lithium. im not going to say all is well cause its not. basically the dr person said until i deal with emily, i will not be healthy again. and thats kinda scary. i dont want to deal with the emily situation. i had a little revelation tonight and shared with anthony ( a HUGE step for me!)...that i feel like confused. i dont want emily to EVER think that i "gave her away" cause she needed more care and mackenzie doesnt. mackenzie was walking in my shoes, like little girls do and playing dress up. things that when i found out emily had a brain disorder and all that, i had given up that i would ever have a "daughter that did the 'normal' things" and now i have a "normal" daughter and i think i feel guilty about that....and thats what i need to work on too. i need to forgive myself for hurting emily and i need to understand that its ok and emily is in a MUCH better place then i could ever give her,...and i need to love mackenzie for all that she is. and so today was a step in the right direction. i just needed to share that, and i wanted to show my arm and i want people to know that you can get help and you should get help before hurting yourself. cause now i have scars that i know will forever make people question me...and it makes me soo sad especially since im going into the medical field...so im going to say my prayers, and kiss my mackenzie and my husband and know they love me!
goodnight

~Tina

HELP A NEW PET!!

You can have a loving pet like our new dog Bobby!!! Mariah and Todd are loving and looking to help these animals who they rescue from abusive situations and place them into loving homes! check their website and even if you dont want a new pet, can you donate some items to help the costs of helping these poor animals?! thanks!

tina

TIMOTHY CAMPBELL

check out my friend Timothy Campbell's music!


you can find more of his music here....

and be sure to buy some clothes to help support this rising young star!

WISCONSIN DELLS 02/10/2011 TO 02/13/2011

had a great time with my nephew lionel, the hubby and mackenzie in the dells. was her first time and she LOVED it !!! im tired so ill post later this week but here are some highlight pics! :)

YAY

not feeling good so going to get some sleeps....but we met with MPS and mackenzie is NOT DEVELOPMENTALLY DELAYED. that means alot to us after having a real disabled child and knowing that mackenzie isnt, it wouldve been a HUGE blow if she was labled as having one....will post more later. thanks

RESUME...CONFUSION - ANGER... WTF?!

PACKERS WIN SUPERBOWL !!

Yay for the super bowl win!



 i had no doubt the packers would win with my grandma AND grandpa BOTH in heaven together now? of course their team will win!! anyways thats not what is bothering me. the list of things bothering me is so long right now i dont have the time to type it and im sure you dont care to hear it. all i ever do is complain huh? sorry. anyways so i attached my resume. its pretty now right? right. but ...well im SURE you can see my problem...you cant? its that little "job" called a private care client. now i KNOW that the career services lady at kaplan had to explain my job history gap for those 5 years, but i am sooo lost and confused. has our society come to this? that a woman cannot have been caring for her "disabled" child while her husband worked and i now have to put it on my resume?!?!?!? this anger and "shame(?)" confuse me, i dont know where they come from. i have a very smart brain, and im definitely not a "i am woman hear me roar" feminist, but im lost that i have to explain to a job that i was a private care worker to my daughter. of course motherhood is the biggest job ANY woman will EVER have, but certainly my duty as a mom and my honor to be Emily's mom and care for my special-needs daughter hasnt been relagated to a "professional experience"....i need a drink! i dont understand this! im sober, day 2. only took one percocet tonight,(so the question remains to me at least, am i still considered sober?) although its going on 1230 and the pain is beginning to settle into my bones and i know its going to be a rough one, i am trying to email and search for a job. just exactly how do i go from being a stay at home, sit on the couch and boss everyone around (lets not kid anyone here, thats what ive been doing!) "mom" to a working adult....?!??! cause i dont know if i want to....oooh man. here we go again! still havent worked back to that lithium....see my psych tomorrow though, and anthony says i have a choice of taking the lithium again, or getting locked inpatient....ill blog tomorrow (hopefully) and let you know what happened!




My address



Milwaukee, WI zip code


C: my phone number


Myemail@yahoo.com


Christina my last name






OBJECTIVE:


Energetic, dependable and customer service focused healthcare professional seeks a position within the healthcare field where I can continue to grow and provide excellent patient care.

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS:


- Motivated individual with attention to detail


-CPR/First Aid Certified, proficient in Microsoft Word, ability to process medical coding and billing

-Knowledge of medical terminology, familiar with and ability to adhere to HIPPA Regulations and OSHA Compliance




EDUCATION:

Kaplan College, Milwaukee, WI - Medical Assistant Diploma – Obtained January 2011

*High Honors (cumulative GPA 3.80)

Milwaukee Area Technical College, Milwaukee WI – Registered Nursing Courses - (Attended 09/00-12/02)
Vincent High School, Milwaukee, WI - High School Diploma – Obtained June 1998

*Member of Y.E.S. (Young Educator’s Society)





PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE:


Dr. Family Practice, Milwaukee, WI

Medical Assistant Extern – (December 2010 – January 2011)


Responsibilities included: directly assisting physicians with medical procedures; medical filing; played a vital role in minor office surgeries; provided office management & communication; prepared and sterilize exam rooms; administer injections; obtain vital signs & patient history; managed a multi-line phone system; composed medical charts; relayed patient prescription needs; provide stellar patient relations




Cleaners, Milwaukee, WI

Clerk - (December 2002-January 2005)


Responsibilities included: assisting customers in dry cleaning needs; provided excellent customer service on a daily basis; performed daily maintenance of maintaining a safe and clean working environment; balancing cash drawers after each shift; assist and resolve customer issues; handled cash on a daily basis




Private Care Client, Milwaukee, WI

Personal Care Worker- (August 2003 – October 2008)


Responsibilities included: care for development delayed patient with Agensis of the Corpus Callosum Disorder; assist with in home physical therapy; assist with daily living activities – preparing meals; bathing, housekeeping; administer medications, development enrichment activities





Pursuit of Higher Learning (Registered Nursing 2000-2002)



Restaurant, Milwaukee, WI

Server / Waitress- (September 1999- December 1999)


Responsibilities included: providing outstanding customer service; taking and delivering customers orders; performed hostess services as needed; cash handling experience

 

Milwaukee, WI

Third Shift Cashier- (July 1995-June 1996)


Responsibilities included: providing customer service; process cash/credit transactions; inventory/stock management; maintain a safe and clean working environment


, Milwaukee, WI

Cahier - (July 1994-May 1995)


Responsibilities included: providing customer service, process cash/credit transactions; maintain a safe and clean working environment; assist with stock/inventory management