I can only hope that you will read this since you wont respond to my emails or my phone calls. i was sick...very very sick and im starting to get better now. you have struggled with many of the same issues that i was and am struggling with right now. i have finally gotten back on my meds and i have stopped drinking. you were and are a very important person in my life and i am sooo sorry that i have alienated you twice now as it may be. you have shunned me for a year also and i have accepted you back with open arms. but i am scared that now i have lost you forever because i put to words my emotions on a particualrily bad day for me... i know the situation and that you cant always be there for me, however i get angry when im going through a particualarily tough time and you arent available for me to cry on your shoulder...ive loved you a long time and i know you have felt the same about me even if on a different level....i have tried to contact you for over a month now and heard no reply and i am worried and scared that something more then your unwillingness to speak to me is going on ...PLEASE if you are reading this now just email me, call me or instant message me that you are ok and dont want to talk to me...i miss you and our "special" bond please dont lock me out of your life forever without at least telling me thats what you are doing.............
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