Do you ever worry about makenzie being taken away from you because of what hap with your other daughter..why or why not? – (a friend from grade school asked me this and i wanted to share with my readers in case you all wonder too)
more than anyone knows ******. in fact anthonys father wanted us to divorce so badly that he regularly calls social services on me with stupid lies that i am abusing her and social services will come and check it out and see that im not, so the case will be closed. however last october, she went to anthonys sisters house and came home after a 4 day weekend, with seriously bad handprint bruises on her buttocks and lower back. i immediately took her to the ER and because i could not explain where the bruises came from because she wasnt home when she got them, they sent social services after me again. only this time i didnt back down. i spoke out against them and they actually "investigated" ME for over 4 months before even sending the case worker to anthonys sister to question her where and when she lied to the case worker and the supposed police officer. i then requested a meeting with the supervisor at social services, and when we all sat down for a meeting i point blank asked the supervisor, if i wasnt bipolar and a recovering alcoholic, and if i hadnt lost my other kids, and given emily up for adoption , would this still be a case? he hesitated so i asked him another way, i said if i didnt live with anthony and mackenzie and never saw her again unsupervised, would you recommend that this case go to court and mack be removed from my home, he didnt hesitate that time when he said no. so i called HIS supervisor and made a complaint with the TAPE RECORDED conversation we had that day where he made that statement , and i then contacted the police station that they said they called to report and the police were "investigating"....the police NEVER received a report....so when i found this out, i made a complaint to the police dept. and then forwarded all that to the bureau supervisor and head of the bureau of child welfare. i received a letter saying the case was closed against me about two weeks later..


so to sum it up ******, yes every day of my life i am terrified of losing mackenzie due to my actions with emily. i have tried to show people that i am a different peson, i attend counseling weekly, taking my medications along with monthly blood levels monitoring my lithium in my blood to show compliance with that, i have quit drinking, and i was trying to make my sham of a marriage work....i completed medical assistant diploma program with a cumulative GPA of 3.89 and High Honors....and STILL people only sometimes see me as the person who abused emily....and unfortunately thats the way it will always be. i found out tonight after fighting with my husband because while he had mackenzie today, she fell playing in the rain and had a lump on her head the size of a golfball and i wanted to take her to the ER to get a CT scan to be sure she didnt have a brain bleed, and he refused to go with me, so we ended up fighting and he did some horrible things today....so im going to file for divorce on monday and i very well might lose custody of mackenzie through this....but i will still have visitation rights with her, and i have to leave anthony, i CANNOT be afraid to take my child to get medical care without him, because i KNOW if i had taken her to the ER today, they would have taken mackenzie into custoy and me into jail and asked questions later....as they did with emily...and yes they had every right with emily, but unfortunately today i couldnt prove that i didnt hurt mack and it literally would be anthonys word against mine...and he was mad at me, so i was scared of losing mackenzie. thankfully i knew what to watch for, and i gave her some tylenol and iced it and the swelling went


down and she is now fine 8 hours later....so...there it is...respond if you like...thanks....and dont ever be afraid to ask me anything about it. i am not proud of what happened with emily, but i know i was / am sick and i made mistakes and i dont hide behind it....i did wrong and i will forever pay for it by never seeing her again, but i know i am now doing right by mackenzie so i try to fight for my right...but unfortunately it doesnt always work out that way...sometimes people only want to see you as the bad person and think people cant change....tina