so took some time. cause with my brother being in a medically induced coma and then things with mack were kinda going rough and life was just fucked up. so i got some moneys and went to michigan. the one place on the planet that i swore i would NEVER go again. cause i get my heart broken every time i go there. and guess what? yep got my heart tore out, stomped on, cut into little pieces and all the pieces got stomped on too. so it went like this. dorein said that he broke up with this girl that he was seeing for a month, cause get this one "he loves me too much to risk losing me". so my dumb pathetic loser self, ate it all up. drove and sat in chicago for almost 3 hours, and finally made it to michigan. checked into the hotel on wednesday night. spent the next 3 days with dorein, in almost total bliss. then came saturday...was sposed to see the fireworks with his friends. so i suddenly had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he had lied about breaking up with this girl and told her some lie so that she wouldnt be bothering him while i was there...and i asked to see his cell...he blew up at me. literally went kinda psychotic..then i see a message from her about ten minutes before talking about if hes back from virginia yet? so yeah my freaking gut was right. i cried and then was like im leaving. im done. but then was like forget it whatever im gonna go see the fireworks and have fun right? dorein and i can work through this...we've worked through crap before....soo yeah went to the fireworks had a great time...had an emotional breakthrough (more about that another day) and went back to doreins friends house to spend the night. so yeah my dumb a** gave in and F*d him and then the next day (sunday) i was sposed to be going back home. and i wanted to spend more time with him, so we went swimming, and spent the whole day together...really talked and had a great time...so i thought....so we had a tearfull goodbye and then kissed and i left ....he told me he had homework to catch up on so just call him when i got home...and so i stupidly did...i blasted the radio and cried the whole way home cause i thought i wanted to stay with him and he loved me and blah blah blah...he even promised me that he would be here next week to help me out a couple days after my surgery....so 5 hours later, i get home...and i call his phone...yep you guessed it...she answered his phone "said this is his girlfriend you stupid bitch slut" and hung up on me. i called back cause i was soooo shocked, and dorein answered and laughed at me...so here i sit...and i want to cry and die...and im not...like im just not. i dunno if its cause i knew this in my heart so maybe it doesnt hurt as much as i thought it would, or what. but i just....i guess i just want a man to actually mean it when he tells me that he loves me and wants to be with me....and i am so sick that i keep thinking this loser will change after the same shit story that hes been telling me the last 3 years....
remind me tomorrow to tell you about my emotional breakthrough!!! it was awesome and heartbreaking and great and wonderful all at the same time.........
<----- NEVER sit in the sun without suscreen for 3 hours reading a book !!! OMG the PAIN !!! :(
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