im so damn confused

im so damn confused is the best title...was not sure what color i wanted to go with there for the post here so was experimenting and obviously had settled on this one..anyways....so today was at this seminar thing for the church group that i wanted to get involved with and it happened to be a seminar on helping recognize child predators and such and such a thing and i was kinda hit in a few places that hurt and you know naturally when you are hurting the one thing you want to do is come home and be held by the one person in your life that ou trust and it seems that my husband has other things on his plate and in his mind besides comforting me and at this point i cant deal anymore! i just am giving it all up cause im so sick of all this shit with him. there are days that he loves me more then words and then there are days that im treated worse then the damn cat and thats not fair. and tonight and last night i told him so. i told him last night hey im on the verge of cheating on you. i came into this relationship and you were all lovey dovey and blah blah blah and now you arent. and there are people that i can talk to online and get more love from them then im getting from you and i dont understand that! and he really didnt say much and so then i was like whatever and then he walked in on me talking to my mom and i didnt change anything i was saying and i think it hit him then how serious i was bout it and then all of a sudden his whole attitude changed cause then suddenly he was all playing and happy and shit and stuff and then now today hes back to being a bitch ass and i dont get it anymore. im not going to let anyone get me down like this and damn that he is and damn that i am. it sucks. but its going to end now. cause im not going to do this. well i gotta go make some soup or something...tty all later