♥ a duck in a pond is calm and carefree... but what you don't see under the water is the struggling & stressed feet.. what you see is not always what it seems"!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

WOW LONG TIME NO POSTING!

i have so much to post and i just am so exhausted so idk how much i will get out tonight....in any way, my last mod finished with an A-...honors...incredible....i cant believe i have already completed 4 months of school already and with A's !!! this is incredible in my life cause i have overcome so many obstacles. i am busting my butt studying and its led to a lot of sleepless nights, countless arguments with anthony and quite a few tears on my part, but im doing it !!! i will finally have something to make my family proud of me, in a life of disappointments, thats the biggest motivation for me. im tired so thats all im going to post tonight, but i had to share with you that im proud of myself so far, and im really realizing my dreams!!

~Tina

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

on the 29th i argued with mackenzie over wearing her dress
over her pjamas to bed....she eventually won. :)
on the 29th i caught sassy drinking from the toilet bowl
again instead of the "water fountain" i bought....

on the 28th i went to a brewer game with a friend...
brewers won !! :)



Thursday, August 12, 2010

SUMMING UP MY GRADE LAST MOD.....

soooo huh....I am my own worst enemy...got a 92.3% overall last mod. and 93% is high honors. so i went to my teacher and said seriously?! 4/10 of a percent?! and you know WHY tina didnt get that .4% ??? cause she couldnt keep her stupid mouth shut those first couple days of class and lost her professionalism points.....OOOOOOO! only got myself to be mad at.. on a better note...i got a 92.3% !!! THATS AN A- folks!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

HAPPY 3RD BIRTHDAY MACKENZIE!!!!

the day we came home from the hospital , 3 days old!!!

your 1st birthday!!!



2 years old



3 years old today!!!


SOOO WHY DIDNT I GO THROUGH WITH SURGERY?

i posted some pics...and then realized i should explain...i was all ready to go! seriously was up early, got mackenzie ready and off to grandmas house, and we were waiting for pastor kate to come get anthony and i. i was kinda excited, i had waited a long time for this day to come and i was really surprised that i wasnt more happy...in fact i was starting to get a little scared....but off we went. we got to surgery and they asked for a urine sample to check to make sure i wasnt pregnant...but i had my tubes tied, and an ultrasound not even a week ago...im not pregnany...well they still needed the urine...ok done. so we sat down in the waiting room and then before you knew it the little thing was buzzing and lighting up and we went back to my room. they gave me this huge purple paper gown. they have new gowns that hook up to a machine that can warm you, they say its cause when you are in surgery, your body temperature needs to stay up and this machine thing works better then blankets. o.k. well lemme tell you, that thing has rubber in it, almost like wearing a giant heating pad with some paper covering it, so i was quite warm in it, needless to say i was sweating. so we were in the room about 2 hours, when they came to draw blood, ask more questions and then we were rolling...well i was rolling (anthony and pastor kate were walking) about 6 miles...nah im kidding but it seemed to take forever to get to the pre-op area. then the anesthesiologist came in...more questions...then he injected lidocaine into my hand and then the IV needle...i told him that next time could he ask before poking me twice cause i would much rather have not received the lidocaine if it meant bein poked twice....and then he injected something into my IV, and hooked up an antibiotic that the dr ordered and a saline bag....and left. the nurse came in with a nice little "hat" and said something about there was an emergency so we wouldnt be going into surgery for at least another 2 hours....WHAT?!?!?! not fair....ok whatever....so i asked anthony to take a quick picture, pastor kate said what? this isnt the time to take pictures, but i explained that i was celebrating this so she said ok and took a pic with me. then idk what happened. a whole mix of things....and i determined right then and there that i was NOT having surgery today. anthony and pastor kate tried to reassure me, and the nurse came in twice, or maybe 2 seperate nurses idk....and then finally anthony said lets get the dr. anthony said i was like this when i got my tubes tied too and the dr was able to calm me down. so the dr came in the room, took one look at me with the tears in my eyes, and said whats wrong? i told her i didnt know, i only knew i didnt want this surgery. she said that it was fine with her cause i was the one who wanted it, and that shes happy i backed out instead of having a surgery i didnt really need in her opinion and then regretting it later....anthony agreed. i wasnt able to look at the pictures until a little while ago without serious anxiety....so im kinda glad that my husband, pastor and dr. were able to understand that i wasnt freaking out or having a panic attack, i seriously didnt want this surgery...and i didnt get forced into it...and im happy and thats all that matters....so now goodnight .....theres the story!!!

~Tina

PRE-SURGERY PICTURES

ok i got my little surgery 'hat' on now, lets get this show on the road!!!

got the IV in my hand - we're ready to rock and roll folks!!

me with my pastor (Kate) im doing this on MY terms! celebrating haha!

anthony taking 'cutesy' pics...of my feet huh?!

this is the moment that i realized i was NOT going to have this surgery!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

DIDNT HAVE SURGERY

i backed outta the surgery at the last possible moment....quite literally....anywho more details on that later...having serious panic attacks thinking about it....back to school thurday...happy 3rd birthday tomorrow to mackenzie!!! whoohoo we made it kiddo!!!

~Tina