THANSGIVING UPDATE

sigh ...well thanksgiving went as well as couldve been expected... of course it was very difficult to get through what with all the relatives having all their children and me only having one... the thing is is that i missed her the most after we got home and anthony and i were sitting watching television talking about her and wondering what she ate and where she was...we wonder if she was in florida as that is where her new grandparents are spending the winter or if she was here where she lives....we know she was surrounded by love and thats all that matters ....christmas is going to be very difficult to get through and i hope i dont end up in the hospitol again....! its a blizzzard out there today, the first one of the season and i am sad cause it reminds me of that fateful night when i made the mistakes i made that changed my life forever.... although i am in much better spirits and physically much better attitude, i still am saddened by the almost identical situation that is occuring today, the snow is coming down hard, we are expected to get 6-10 inches, the baby is cranky and the car isnt working well again....all these things occured almost a year ago in february and it led to me spanking my little angel and getting her taken away....lets just say i have LEARNED my lesson and will not be hitting anyone ever again! its horrible to think of again and i am sad that God has provided such circumstances...once again i am alone as anthony is at work, the baby is in her room i was trying to get her to take a nap but thats not happening haha... i will go get her momentarily...it really is beautiful when it snows, i just wish it didnt remind me of that horrible night! ....well off to get the baby before she cries....later all....hope everyone had a great thanksgiving!

-tina

UPDATE ABOUT EMILY

well heres the story so far...about three days ago i decided that i wanted to get emily back...then i called the caseworker and told her and she said she will come out today and we will talk about it more...so today she came with updates from the foster mom and emily has made GREAT strides since she has stopped seeing us .....soooo then the discussion went to whether it was the best thing for emily to get her back here in our custody...and that most likely we would have to go to trial because i already stopped visits and filed the paperwork for a voluntary termination of parental rights....soooooo that in mind, she left and anthony and i talked some after she left and i broke down cause i was sad that really in reality they arent going to let emily come back home with us, we arent the best fit when compared to natalie and andrew who have had her this time and done so much with her....so we decided that it isnt going to benefit emily to see us again and that we should let it all go...so thats where we are...losing our little girl all over again it seems...and i am grieving immensely...soooo now theres the whole story and thats that...talk to you all laters...

MACKENZIE STANDING

finally got her a toy that she can stand by and play !!!

MACKENZIE IN THE BEAN BAG CHAIR

mackenzies first time in the bean bag chair and she was just "chilling" and loving it....haha...shes too cute !

ADOPTION

well i have decided that i am going to let emilys foster parents adopt her...this was a very tough decision but its the best thing with all emilys problems and all my problems... i love her with all my heart and soul and i want only the best for her and i cant give her all that she deserves so i am giving her up!

-tina

TENNESSEE 8-08

we went to the wilson county fair in lebanon tennessee on sunday and had a blast...we went with anthonys brother brian and his wife toya and their little girl...and his sister tonya and her kids lionel and lanika....mackenzie rode the ponys and mom nearly had an astma attack trying to keep up with them as they rode around in a never ending circle...lol....mackenzie wasnt feeling it and wanted to get off but she managed to stay on until the end....thank god....that was a good 5 bucks spent at least...then we met up with the others and visited the petting zoo where we saw goats and believe it or not kangaroos....the one was hopping all around like crazy...we couldnt pet them as i think they bite...so .....but mackenzie wasnt too shy to pet the goats and i got a great picture of her doing that...also we ran into mackenzies long lost twin sister...and get this...her name is the name that i wanted to name mackenzie! her name was olivia and her mom was so sweet that she let me take a picture of the girls hugging and kissing....it was so precious...thank you maam wherever you are....then it was time to walk around and although we didnt have much moneys anthony let me splurge on a light up pacifier for mackenzie...it was only 2 bucks so wasnt that big of a purchase lol....mackenzie loved it...then against my better judgement anthony and lionel decided to take mackenzie on the little roller coaster haunted house ride...i was terrified that she was tooooo small...but the operator of the ride insisted that she was fine as long as her daddy held on to her and she sat in her own seat....so in between anthony and lionel she went and there are pics of that too...evidently it wasnt too bad and she really couldnt have cared less about the ride...lol...well all in all we had a great time...of course i am again sunburned lol....and i am literally exhausted but have a very full week ahead of me...sigh ....well i have to get my house cleaned after the tornado of us came through and threw everything on the floor and headed to bed last night...lol...talk to you all later....leave comments! thanks

tina

VISIT 7-24-08