IT FINALLY CAME!...BUT....

it has my "original" grad date but i didnt actually graduate until feb. 14th and thats what my transcripts say, so i have to be without it again while they freakin fix it !!! grrr!

MORE PICTURES!! :)

new incognito phone is a mirror on the outside

but then it glows a keyboard for you!

my 'old' phone

again my old phone

trying to show the little eye gem crystals i had on :)

Tim Campbell - Ordinary Girl

A SMORGASBORD

i posted the title as a smorgasbord cause i have NO idea where this is gonna go...haha...i am sorta all over the place tonight. a friend of mine for the last 8 years, has come to me in recent months to maybe sit down with his wife and daughter whos 12, and discuss some symptoms and whatever of bipolar because the daughter seems depressed. the therapist they are seeing put her on prozac, but now tonight i got a frantic text message that they literally walked in on her cutting herself and there are old scars indicating shes been doing it for some time now....i feel terrible for him, but on the same note i feel terrible for the little girl. i know that its a serious sign of SERIOUS mental illness, but to my knowledge they arent the type of people that are going to get her signed inpatient treatment even though im telling them that through my many many suicide attempts, i have never self-cut...well except this last time and i honestly dont remember doing that. i know i struggle not to cut myself again...which is terrifying in its own right...sigh. anyways so did you like my sexy pics from last night? haha i was kinda buzzed / drunk etc. and had hubby take some sexy pics without being tooooo over the top....i had a great wig on that i feel sooooo pretty in. i am trying to grow my hair out again, ack! i haent had "long" hair in over 4 years so it will be a change....its by no means long right now, but its already touching my neck and its sooo irritating me....but i am determined to have some hair to wear to graduation. i also am going to try and excercise so i can wear a ROCKING, SEXY little black dress or something to my COLLEGE, yes i said COLLEGE graduation in june. its a seriously short deadline to lose some weight but i can do it...i am not being unrealistic like losing 100 pounds or anything but like 30 or 40 pounds in the next 2 months is deinitely attainable so imma try! with the grace of God i will do it and i will look great on that stage walking across there to get my fake lil diploma....havent got my real one in the mail yet. i will DEFINITELY post a photo of it when it does finally get here, they said 4-6 weeks from the end of february but i think ill call Kaplan tomorrow and find out if they know exactly when it was mailed....its got a nice little frame here waiting for it haha. anthony got his tooth pulled friday, thankfully he agreed to pay it instead of waiting till today to get it done for free cause the dentist said there was an infection just "starting" !!! poor guy! i love him sooo very much though so it didnt matter much. he paid almost twice what we did friday two years ago to get my front tooth pulled when it hurt so bad i couldnt even talk and then the insurance couldnt get me to the dentist for at least a week, so we went to this emergency clinic that only pulls teeth but it costed like 200 bucks and the IV sedation was another 150 and he was gonna pay it for me, but then when i got back in the room, i changed my mind, and didnt get the IV so he was sooo proud of me! :) well im getting pretty wiped out so im going to sleep and will blog tomorrow. heres a picture of the day!

~Tina

PICTURES AND MORE PICTURES ;) I LOOOVE PICTURES

trying the marlyn monroe sexy thing...



looking sexy :)



ooh looking evil....

idk this was just a mess man...lol

evil mess





showing my "assets"

HimpHead

trying to look professional - did it work?

i was NOT sick, trying to look thoughtful...or something lol

Tim Campbell - Ordinary Girl

LIFE IS GETTING CHALLENGING

a duck in a pond is calm and carefree... but what you don't see under the water is the struggling & stressed feet.. what you see is not always what it seems.


a visit to the psychiatrist bought some rather bad news...i have run out of options for medication treatment. i am now diagnosed with bipolar rapid cycling disorder, borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder. the only thing that can be treated with medications is the bipolar and i have been on literally every single medication known to doctors at this point with little to no help. we are trying one last option of lowering my lithium and adding a new medication called symbyax (a combination of prozac and zyprexa). if that doesnt work, give me some improvement in my symptoms that i can live a 'normal' life, then we are going to consider electroshock therapy. so theres that. i had to quit my job today where i was working for about a week with a friend at his job as a basically secretary doing mundane things like making phone calls, and updating lists and a special project for the Jewish holiday Purim, where my nephew and his friend and some other people all contributed to making Shalach Manos.

Shalach Manot gift bags

we worked hard that day creating over a thousand boxes containing a special candle, a bottle of wine, a special etched wine glass with the logo of the place i was working, a bag of pastries and also a small bag of spices. so thats life right now. its 630am and i havent slept in 24 hours so i guess ill try to get some rest before the energizer bunny gets up!

~Tina