8 HOURS AND COUNTING....

i start my externship

tomorrow - well technically today

in 8 hours

im terrified
im excited
im terrified

im going to try and sleep

~Tina

WHERE DO I GO NOW?!?!?!?

October 2010 - only 1 more month to go!!!



OMG!!! ordering my graduation cap and gown?!

 so that was taken about a month ago. i finished school last night. i didnt expect it would end so quietly, cause we all know i dont end things quietly haha...i wanted to get a picture of my classmates and teacher but didnt get the chance...took a final exam and i think i might've only gotten a B and not the A i was pursuing. got papers in the mail...was kinda confused, but it was my order form for my cap and gown!! oh my God, i had no idea how close i was to being a college graduate! its insane....im scared of the challenges that lie ahead for me now, but i will conquer them as i have conquered all these others.....im going to sleep, have to get up early tomorrow ugh...but i learn my externship location an hours! whoohoo

~~Tina

ONE MORE DAY AND TWO HOURS LEFT....

Not that im counting or anything. but i cannot believe how fast these last 7 (8) months have passed. and how good ive done. i have 3 high honors and 3 honors and im hoping to get a high honor for this mod...although i dont know if that will happen. its been a rough mod! billing and coding and all that stuff! oy! mackenzie had her school pictures taken and i bought one cause her hair was a mess, but i had to buy at least one! we are going to go to walmart (hopefully) this weekend and get our christmas picture taken and then of course we have some with just mackenzie in to choose from. life has been going along...the bureau is leaving us alone for now, although that could just be some kind of fluke and maybe they had some more pressing matters to attend to before getting back to our petty case. anywho thats about all i have to say for now im tired. and still have about another hour before i get to break free from my prison! oy...nah you all know im gonna have a nervous breakdown when i leave here! i cannot handle change that well and im leaving the safety of my classroom and teachers that ive been with for the last 7 months...but im confident i will rock my externship...so for today this is what i will leave you with!

~Tina

I CANT BELIEVE HOW FAR IVE COME!!

graduation is January 2011 ! cant believe its almost here!!

i got the mail today, and there was something from school..i was wondering cause umm im there every day, they dont need to mail me something that they can hand me in class duh! haha. so i open it, and i cried so hard! and they are HAPPY tears. its VERY possible that i might be able to make the graduation ceremony in January if i finish my externship hours before then....i cannot believe that its almost here. i am almost a Medical Assistant ! its been a long hard road. but in the end when i walk across that stage, and (hopefully ill be salutatorian and can make a speech) receive that recognition, i will CRY harder then i have ever cried in my life! it will be the best day (with the exception of my kids being born and my wedding day) of my life...its something that i have struggled hard for and earned, SERIOUSLY earned. and i have gotten all A's. I managed to eek out three High Honors which is a 93% or higher, and four Honors which is 90% to 92.9%. and i have one more mod that im doing now, which i will hopefully get a High Honors for. then i have my externship. i am very blessed that i can work almost any hours for my externship, unlike a lot of my classmates who have jobs and can only work their externship around their job hours. i have to go for my TB test on monday, im interested to see if i was ever exposed to it...would be weird to know if i was huh?! haha. and get that last Hep. B shot. im nervous and excited. i know i will struggle a little but the Lord has bought me through some serious struggles these last few months, and i know He will be holding me tightly now through my work experience and i will learn a lot. my goal at this point is to finish my externship, and then work and study for about a year, and then go in to take my Registered MA or Certified MA test. Ms. Becky just took it, and shes been an MA and RN for almost 12 years, but she said its no joke and it took her about 9 hours (with small breaks in between) to complete it !!! oy!! ive briefly perused the study books at the local library and they are thick and detailed haha...but i know i can do it and i have faith in myself.

christmas is just around the corner! 33 days, 21 hours, 9 minutes and 46 seconds...(but whos counting? lol) when we went to put up our christmas tree, we realized there were pieces missing that belonged to the base so now the tree wont stand! :( haha thats great cause i wanted a new tree this year anyways so now i had a reason! went to walmart and found a reallllly nice one for 35 bucks and it had the lights on it already! cooooool ! so now just have to get mackenzie a pretty "christmas dress", which ive been eyeing these so far....Target has a beautiful red glittery dress and we all know how i like sparkles ... they also have this deep purple dress that i love, although i wanted to go more traditional with red, i might try this one out... ....but then theres this one thats not too fancy, and again isnt the traditional red...but its cute ....or this one that is more traditional and i can soo see how grown up she will look in this one. but then i thought i would venture outta my comfort zone a little, and try websites, and found thei one at Gap, untraditional but cute i think .... looooove this one .... and this one is cute although my niece had one like this so dont wanna copy.  so as you can see im facing quite the dilemma right now, im sure though as the time approaches, i will walk into walmart, target or kmart and find THE dress and ill be so happy! :) getting family picture done too this year. yay..well goodnight everyone.

~Tina

ITS BEEN ROUGH

how do you love someone when you love someone else? i love him so much and he hurt me sooo incredibly much. im with the one im with cause there is noone that will take care of me... i love him and i dont know what to do anymore...my heart hurts so bad, i havent slept in months, not a good sleep anyways....i really thought he was being honest with me that time and to come home and learn it was a week of deception....did he feel the same things i did? did he feel the chemistry when we kissed? why did he lie to me then? i was ready to throw everything i know away to be with him, maybe it was too late already but then why lie to me? i healed somehow with the emily thing a little, that was huge, did he know that? did he care?? was i just a fuck? was it nothing but how much money he could get outta me? why did i believe him?????  why cant i stop thinking about him now then?!

ITS BEEN SO LONG

since i actually sat down and blogged....lets see what i need to catch you up on...my brother darick "woke" up from his coma almost over a month ago now...he literally was discharged from the hospital 2 weeks after waking up, and the next day was at school (college) and back to work like nothing happened! wow amazing to him....im still moving along in school....cannot believe the progress i have made....i have this mod (the cardio - also the HARDEST mod according to my teacher) and one more mod (medical front office - which i know i will rock) and then i have two months of externship! i cannot believe i havent quit...its been a long road, it really has...there has been lotts of tears but also a lot of smiles cause i have AWESOME classmates and a great teacher that isnt going to let me fail myself...she pushes me, sometimes harder then i think she should, but always i seem to be able to rise to the bar shes placing me on....im loved...seriously...i have great friends who i totally miss on the weekends when they are having their lives with their families and i cannot wait to see them on monday and know how their weekend went....i also made peace with someone i thought would be a mortal enemy - through a great friend ...my friend became her friend and then told her some of the things i was going through and didnt mean to fight with this girl and wow, we are now friends....i hope she knows how much that means to me that we arent fighting anymore...its like high school sometimes with the drama....but i never really had too many friends in high school that knew the real me, and in college, i have a lot of them that i have let see that side of me that i usually keep hidden, for fear they would reject me, but they have all accepted me...and that can only be attributed to a higher power....so thats all that....ive been sick again lately...mentally and physically but im taking it one day at a time and hopefully it will pass without being too serious....i have school to keep me focused and thats great....i have unfortunately lost all ties with my "mom" and my other two kids, and that breaks my heart to no end, but its for the best right now...its a toxic relationship and it was harming me and my family here....things with anthony and mackenzie are at a rough spot, but as usual we are trying to work through it....well thats about all i can type up today, my wrists are hurting, lol....so say hi and have a good weekend!

~Tina

IDK (I DONT KNOW) WHAT TO SAY

she could sooo fit in with the POW. com website and that show "Ice Road Truckers".!!!