LIFE THROWING SNOWBALLS AT ME! :(

CONFUSED AND KICKING ASS! LOL
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Life

well for starters i was in the hosptiol for three days...sunday to tuesday night....with a terrible headache and evidently it turned out to be a migraine...good lord if i never have another one of those it will be too soon....at any rate thats the kicking ass part haha... i am feeling another one coming on and i dont know what to do to make it stop....grrr....but the confusion part is a bit more complex....a "friend" commited suicide on new years day...and its bothering me sooo much that i cannot sleep at night.... i say friend in italics cause we were passing in high school you know, that one person that was nice to you when not a whole lot of others were? well then i lost contact with him until i spoke to him briefly on facebook and then not much since then....well anyways why is this bothering me sooo much i certainly dont understand?! i mean he was a great guy in high school and i can only imagine that he never changed, so what were the demons that were plaguing him that he did this? i can only imagine as i have attempted suicide on several occasions, so i can imagine the pain he was in that he felt that it was his only way to happiness and peace but i dont know why its bothering me so much....ok well i thought maybe i could vent and get it out and maybe gain some understanding that way ,,,,but i havent so....sigh im going to try to get some sleep and go to church tomorrow.... i will hug my family a little tighter tonight...also another thought ...its the first of many years that emily will live without me....wow....i cant imagine this...lol....but i made it through the holidays without her and so yay and kudos to me! -tina