today was a BLACK day

sigh i almost chose to end my life today....all because im seriously depressed and i couldnt find my glasses....sigh...yes life is VERY black when bipolar and depressed....have finally quit arguing and fighting with the doctors and stuff and have gone back on the depakote....so i have to take 500 mg for 3 days, 1000 mg for 3 days, 1500 mg for 3 days and then finally back on to 2000 mg for the rest of the time now.....baked cupcakes for the church bake sale tomorrow...argued with my husband...he seems to think that i am playing when i say that im bipolar... he has asked me to get him some information on bipolar so thats what im going to do...ok well church is bright and early tomorrow morning so i must hit the hay ..gnite world!